Whats not fair...

Here's whats not fair...
I've decided I'm over you, that is until I hear your voice or see you smile
You have decided we're far from over, and you act like nothings changed.
I tell myself repeatedly I'm not calling you, texting you, thinking of you
but everything reminds me of you and I have to call...I have to text...my every thought is you.
We're never at the same place at the same time,
one of us is always playing the waiting game.

Whats not fair is...
I can't move on and I'm starting to believe its because I secretly don't want to.
How much I love(ed) care(ed) for and adore(d) you.
How I can't for the life of me place you in the "reason" or "season" group.
Are you the boyfriend thats keeping me from my husband?
Are the feelings still there or is it comfort that keeps me so attached?

Whats not fair is...
The way you know me like no one else does
How you're my person, the person in the world I can tell anything to...and now I need another one.
How you make me the stupid little girl I swore I'd never be.
These butterflies in my stomach are getting restless
How when I close my eyes I can remember your touch, smell your scent, feel your warmth and I think a small part of me always will.

Whats not fair is...
All the bullshit my heart can't seem to remember
All the drama my head can't keep track of
All the games and indecision; lets put away childish things
How a simple forehead kiss can erase the anger, pain, and frustration.

Whats not fair is...
All the jokes we've yet to laugh at
All the glances we've yet to exchange
All the memories we'll never get to make
How getting over you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and you're not making it easy.

I think most of all whats not fair is that we're handicapping each other. Holding each other hostage in a situation where there IS no negotiator. There is no compromising, or a happy medium. We will never be 'just friends'. So...On the count of 3, lets just let go and see what happens...