A friend of mine raised an interesting point the other day about aggressive women, he said 4 balls don't work in a relationship, but men (we're speaking MEN not boys) don't like women who don't have any...so really how does this work? I figure its not an issue of 4 balls in a relationship its more an issue of who's are hanging, and who's are tucked in a given situation. I apologize for the um less than classy analogy...
So really theres always a power struggle going on and during the happy times, the power is at whatever's normal for that couple; could be 50/50, 60/40, whatever. When you have an argument afterwards the goal is to return back to that norm: so a fight is a homeostatic process. So what happens when your man is trippin the balls are on the ground and he's standing up beating his chest? My initial reaction is to stand just as upright, look at him like he's short and do the same. THAT is probably not the right thing to do, because I'm sure sometimes he has a valid point or reason to be angry. You can't say you want this strong resilient Alpha-male then be mad when he acts like one.
Strong willed women, which seem to be abundant in today's society, need a man who makes her want to tuck them. Is that backwards? Maybe; I don't mean to speak for the world, I know some women are happy in a matriarchial society and in fact that is prominent especially among Black households, however a lot of that is not by choice. Its just one way of looking at things and this isn't even my absolutele opinion...but I seriously think men are becoming increasingly more Beta and women are gaining in aggression and Alphaness... That to me is messed up. I don't respond well to passive aggressiveness, I take it as a sign of weakness which might possibly be a character flaw and something I need to work on, but at least I know it. If you want something say it. If I'm in the wrong tell me, and if I'm being dismissive which I hardly ever am (one enjoys a good debate) then find a way to make me listen. I had someone tell me I was controlling. Incorrect but why relinquish any control to you when you haven't done anything to prove you deserve it?
I believe women, working women, today have become more aggressive because they have to be. Thats not to say that they want to be a hardass at home, they just had to be strong, abbrassive, and unemotional at work all day. I'm at home now you be the protector and make me feel safe. Or maybe I'm crazy....I often have that thought whenever I write these things. Like they're just meaningless rambles of a possibly twisted and troubled young woman, but then you don't have to read it...or agree I'm not looking for followers. I'm just simply providing food for thought.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Birds and Magnets
Some say, "Birds of a feather flock together" while others proclaim, "Opposites attract," but which is more condusive to a successful relationship? My best friend sent me this article from MSN.com it said: Your tastes are too different. “The number-one reason for failed relationships is what I call ‘refinement incompatibility,’” says Zannah Hackett, author of The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking. “Some of us are content to go camping, while others can’t survive outside a Ritz-Carlton hotel room. Some things are negotiable, but refinement incompatibility is not one of them, no matter how magnetically attracted you are to each other.” Your lifestyles are too different. If you’re a corporate exec pulling in six figures a year, you’ve probably figured out by now whether you can tolerate a guy who earns an order of magnitude less in terms of his salary. No harm, no foul: Pulling out now is better than leading him along (or unexpectedly sticking him with the tab at that expensive restaurant). And in addition to that it also listed opposite views of money spending, opposite views of politics, and opposite views of humor as "Signs your date isn't THE ONE." I know this isn't conclusive evidence but I think in general its going to be far harder loving your opposite than someone who is similar to you.
A friend of mine, A, she has a very dry an unapologetic sense of demeanor and she used to date a guy, G, who was a bit more expressive & emotional & thought she was mean and insensitive. In their troublesome months it became an issue because G began to feel like she didn't take him seriously and A being the hard-ass that she was couldn't bring herself to show him exactly how much she was trying to heed to his needs. In essence they broke up. I'm sure there were other factors but in my opinion, all along, they never really got each other. Her nonchalant drama-free attitude and his expressive and passionate attitude didn't mix. He wanted to hold her hand in public, she felt like whats the point...However in the beginning it was wonderful because G wanted to wine and dine her, and A played the coy hard to get, I'm not impressed role. Little did G know, it just wasn't in A to show how "impressed" she was or simply appreciate the romanticness (is that a word?). Essentially, G said "I love you so much, you mean the world to me" while A responded, "Yeah you're pretty cool too I guess."
All this is to say how imporant the little things are. Yes we all want somebody that is responsible, ambitious, honest, blah blah blah but who really thinks "I want somebody who appreciates Family Guy" its not so much that Peter Griffin holds a special place in your heart, its simply you don't want to feel like you're being judged by your partner for having an affinity for juvenile humor. The bigger issues such as kids/no kids, blue collar/white collar, beach vacation/camping vacation are things one might expect to compromise on. In actuality they can becoming bigger arguments because they feel just as strongly about their likes and beliefs that you do. And as we all know, you can't go into a relationship looking to change someone, that is just going to backfire and blow up in your face.
I guess its kind of obvious that I'm all for those BIRDS...they flock together for a reason, and studies show in relationships romantic and otherwise these relationships are more stable and have the most longevity. There's something comforting about not having to explain yourself. Someone who can relate to you, and doesn't necessarily have to work that much harder to understand where you're coming from on certain issues; *shoulder shrug* or maybe thats just me
A friend of mine, A, she has a very dry an unapologetic sense of demeanor and she used to date a guy, G, who was a bit more expressive & emotional & thought she was mean and insensitive. In their troublesome months it became an issue because G began to feel like she didn't take him seriously and A being the hard-ass that she was couldn't bring herself to show him exactly how much she was trying to heed to his needs. In essence they broke up. I'm sure there were other factors but in my opinion, all along, they never really got each other. Her nonchalant drama-free attitude and his expressive and passionate attitude didn't mix. He wanted to hold her hand in public, she felt like whats the point...However in the beginning it was wonderful because G wanted to wine and dine her, and A played the coy hard to get, I'm not impressed role. Little did G know, it just wasn't in A to show how "impressed" she was or simply appreciate the romanticness (is that a word?). Essentially, G said "I love you so much, you mean the world to me" while A responded, "Yeah you're pretty cool too I guess."
All this is to say how imporant the little things are. Yes we all want somebody that is responsible, ambitious, honest, blah blah blah but who really thinks "I want somebody who appreciates Family Guy" its not so much that Peter Griffin holds a special place in your heart, its simply you don't want to feel like you're being judged by your partner for having an affinity for juvenile humor. The bigger issues such as kids/no kids, blue collar/white collar, beach vacation/camping vacation are things one might expect to compromise on. In actuality they can becoming bigger arguments because they feel just as strongly about their likes and beliefs that you do. And as we all know, you can't go into a relationship looking to change someone, that is just going to backfire and blow up in your face.
I guess its kind of obvious that I'm all for those BIRDS...they flock together for a reason, and studies show in relationships romantic and otherwise these relationships are more stable and have the most longevity. There's something comforting about not having to explain yourself. Someone who can relate to you, and doesn't necessarily have to work that much harder to understand where you're coming from on certain issues; *shoulder shrug* or maybe thats just me
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Whats not fair...
Here's whats not fair...
I've decided I'm over you, that is until I hear your voice or see you smile
You have decided we're far from over, and you act like nothings changed.
I tell myself repeatedly I'm not calling you, texting you, thinking of you
but everything reminds me of you and I have to call...I have to text...my every thought is you.
We're never at the same place at the same time,
one of us is always playing the waiting game.
Whats not fair is...
I can't move on and I'm starting to believe its because I secretly don't want to.
How much I love(ed) care(ed) for and adore(d) you.
How I can't for the life of me place you in the "reason" or "season" group.
Are you the boyfriend thats keeping me from my husband?
Are the feelings still there or is it comfort that keeps me so attached?
Whats not fair is...
The way you know me like no one else does
How you're my person, the person in the world I can tell anything to...and now I need another one.
How you make me the stupid little girl I swore I'd never be.
These butterflies in my stomach are getting restless
How when I close my eyes I can remember your touch, smell your scent, feel your warmth and I think a small part of me always will.
Whats not fair is...
All the bullshit my heart can't seem to remember
All the drama my head can't keep track of
All the games and indecision; lets put away childish things
How a simple forehead kiss can erase the anger, pain, and frustration.
Whats not fair is...
All the jokes we've yet to laugh at
All the glances we've yet to exchange
All the memories we'll never get to make
How getting over you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and you're not making it easy.
I think most of all whats not fair is that we're handicapping each other. Holding each other hostage in a situation where there IS no negotiator. There is no compromising, or a happy medium. We will never be 'just friends'. So...On the count of 3, lets just let go and see what happens...
I've decided I'm over you, that is until I hear your voice or see you smile
You have decided we're far from over, and you act like nothings changed.
I tell myself repeatedly I'm not calling you, texting you, thinking of you
but everything reminds me of you and I have to call...I have to text...my every thought is you.
We're never at the same place at the same time,
one of us is always playing the waiting game.
Whats not fair is...
I can't move on and I'm starting to believe its because I secretly don't want to.
How much I love(ed) care(ed) for and adore(d) you.
How I can't for the life of me place you in the "reason" or "season" group.
Are you the boyfriend thats keeping me from my husband?
Are the feelings still there or is it comfort that keeps me so attached?
Whats not fair is...
The way you know me like no one else does
How you're my person, the person in the world I can tell anything to...and now I need another one.
How you make me the stupid little girl I swore I'd never be.
These butterflies in my stomach are getting restless
How when I close my eyes I can remember your touch, smell your scent, feel your warmth and I think a small part of me always will.
Whats not fair is...
All the bullshit my heart can't seem to remember
All the drama my head can't keep track of
All the games and indecision; lets put away childish things
How a simple forehead kiss can erase the anger, pain, and frustration.
Whats not fair is...
All the jokes we've yet to laugh at
All the glances we've yet to exchange
All the memories we'll never get to make
How getting over you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and you're not making it easy.
I think most of all whats not fair is that we're handicapping each other. Holding each other hostage in a situation where there IS no negotiator. There is no compromising, or a happy medium. We will never be 'just friends'. So...On the count of 3, lets just let go and see what happens...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Soundtrack
Here are a few lyrics to a few songs that have touched me...feel free to add your own!
So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you’ll love me
Love me like you’ll never see me again
~Alicia Keys "Like you'll never see me again"
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
~Amel Larrieux "Makes me whole"
It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
~Lauryn Hill "Ex-Factor"
Lord they really think they fooling you by coming to church on Sunday
Praying and laying hands on folks stomping and jumping around faking the holy ghost
But its a thin line between walking it and talking it
Living it and giving it or just pretending it's alright
And did they really think that they could pull the wool over your eyes Lord
Did they really think that by faking they were saved that they would get the same reward
This be the realest thing I ever wrote for sure
After this a lot of folks wont like me no mo'but after this I gotta go answer to you Lord
So I've made up my mind I'm a go to church on Sunday and sing a song that may hurt Somebody's feelings so that maybe Thy will, will be done on earth as it is in heaven
And hopefully they will see how much they really be discouraging a little old sinner like me
~Lyfe Jennings "Made up my mind"
This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I’m made of stone
So I won’t end up with no broken bones
I can’t fight every battle aloneI want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard
~Amel Larrieux "Weary"
There ain't no room
For the hopeless sinner
Whom would hurt all mankind
Just to save his own
Have pitty on those whose
Chances grow thinner
For there is no hiding place
Against the kingdom's throne
People get ready
There's a train a commin'
You don't need no baggage
You just get on board
All You need is faith
To hear the diesels hummin'
You don't need no ticket
You just thank the Lord
~Curtis Mayfield "People get ready"
For what is a man?
What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.
~Frank Sinatra "My Way"
And then I go to see my brother
And I ask him to help me please
And he just winds up knockin' me
Back down on my knees
There were times when I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come
~Sam Cooke "A change is gonna come"
There will come a day
The song will ring out
Down those golden streets
The voices of earth with the angels will sing
Every knee will bow
Sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
~Faith Hill "There will come a day"
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
~Keith Urban "Tonight I wanna cry"
Ain't nobody ever took the time to try to teach me what love was but you
And I ain't never trust anyone enough to let em tell me what to do
Teach me how to really show it and show me how to really love you baby
Teach me please just show me yeah
Cause I'm willing
To let go of my fears girl I'm serious
About all that I've said
Girl I wanna love you with all my heart
Baby show me where to start
Teach me how to love
~Musiq "Teach Me"
She say she never done it
She say she never tried
She sittin there tellin a mutha fuckin lie!
~Kilo Ali "Love in ya mouth"
Takin' my hits, writin' my hits
Writin' my rhymes, playin' my mind
This fuckin' job can't help him
So I quit, y'all welcome
Y'all don't know my struggle
Y'all can't match my hustle
You can't catch my hustle
You can't fathom my love dude
Lock yourself in a room doin' five beats a day for three summers
That's a different world like Cree Summers
I deserve to do these numbers
The kid that made that deserves that Maybach
So many records in my basement
I'm just waitin' on my spaceship
~Kanye West "Spaceship"
See I ain't got to get in your blouse
It's your eye contact, that be getting me aroused
When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines
Reflecting my light, when it shines, just takin our time
Before the night's through, we could get physical tooI
ain't tryin to say I don't wanna fuck, cause I do
But for me boo, makin love is just as much mental
I like to know what I'm gettin into
~Dead Prez "Mind Sex"
I been thinkin bout u lately
Thoughts take me to when we were close
Addicted 2 your love, feel i need another dose
I know it's a feeling
That should be long gone
Things seem to come up
When I hear our song
Golden brown girl, it seem so long
Since i heard your voice
Where did the king go wrong?
Emotions that that they linger on
I guess cause i never knew a love so strong
~Common " I want you"
My cornerstone
You're who I go to
The love that you've shown
Doesn't compare to any unknown
You're the exception, treasure
My patient love...Forever enduring you
One look at youYou see right through me
You know my moods
You know what I'm thinking
Feel what I'm feeling
Cause you're my best friend true, oh you
~Goapele ft. Dwele "You"
You are the only one
That's patient when I fall
Your angel's come to save me
Every time I call
You don't laugh at me
When I make mistakes and cry
You're not like man
You understand me
See people change
One day they don't like you
The next they do
I wish that everyone Could love me just like you
So here I am This sinful man
Peace won't allow
I was wondering can you hold me now
~Kirk Franklin "Hold me now"
I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual, the inspiration
That made Lady Sing the Blues...
I'm the spark that makes your idea bright
The same spark that lights the dark
So that you can know your left from your right...
I am the ballot in the box, the bullet in the gun
The innerglow that lets you know
To call your brother sun...
The story that just begun
The promise of what's to come
And I'm a remain a soldier 'til the war is won
~Asheru "Boondocks Theme"
Have a baby by me,
Baby Be a millionaire
I write the check before the baby comes,
Who the fuck cares?
~50 Cent "I get money"
ALL I NEED IS ONE LIFE,
ONE TRY,
ONE BREATH I'M ONE MAN
WHAT I STAND FOR SPEAKS FOR ITSELF,
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND
Or wanna see me on top, too egotistical
Talkin all that slick shit, the same way these bitches do
Wonder what my secrets is, niggaz'll move on you
only if they know, what your weakness is I have none
~NAS "One Mic"
I could buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight, my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But he needs you to help him be a man
We need you
So hard to say
We need you
~Jill Scott "The fact is (we need you)"
Set the standard for Atlanta, rearranged the league
Okay, so what tha fuck is fame to me?
I been poppin' since kindergarten, you's a lame to me
I give the niggas what they came to see
A reflection of one self where they aim to be
As you can see it ain't no changin me
And you won't meet another nigga off the chain as me
I'm so fly, no lie, don't deny it, ya feel it
So inspired by my style, decided to try it yo'self
Bet you won't, meet nobody ranked as high as myself
The checks you waitin' on, homes, I can sign them myself
~T.I. "Be Easy" MY THEME!
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.
~John Mayer "Comfortable"
What's the feeling that I get
Every single time I look deep into your eyes
What's the tingle that I feel
At the touch of your hand up & down my spine
What's so funny, in my belly tryna tell me something
Feels like butterflies
What's the feeling, what's the tingle, what's the tickle,
What's the world got for you and I
And I swear it's real,
Yes it is can't nobody ever tell me otherwise
And I swear I feel,
No I can't deny what I'm feeling inside
Is this the way love feels?
~Chrisette Michele "Is this the way love feels"
Lately my soul’s been aching
It’s like I’m stuck in this state of competency
I love her with my whole heart
But we can’t escape the fights
We breakup Then, makeup the next night
Our relationship lacks trust
But neither one of us
Can’t seem to walk away
Cuz we’re bottled up in this lust
And I know I wanna hit
Cuz the sexual chemistry
Takes over her and me
And then I hear her scream
~Brandon Hines "Overdose"
And I got misery
Cause I know loving you's a sin
And I'll be on my knees
Praying that I don't give in
Now baby you and me
Never ever could have been
So I got misery
Because I'll love you till the end
~Amel Larrieux "Sweet Misery"
See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
My granny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't walk around trying to be what Im not
I don't waste my time trying to get what you got
I work at pleasin me
Cause I can't please you and thats why I do what I do
~Erykah Badu "Appletree"
Well, from my understanding people get better
when they start to understand that, they are valuable
And they not valuable because they got a whole lot of money
or cause somebody, think they sexy
but they valuable cause they been created by God
And God, makes you valuable
And whether or not you, recognize that value is one thing
You got a lot of socities and governments
tryin to be God, wishin that they were God
They wanna create satellites and cameras everywhere
and make you think they got the all-seein eye
~Mos Def "Fear Not of Man"
I remember when you filled my heart with joy
was I blind to the truth, just there to fill the space?
cause now, you have no interest in anything that I have to say
and I've allowed you to make me feel(I feel so dumb)
what kind of fool am I?
you so easily set me aside
you made a fool of me
tell me why
you say that you don't care, but
we made love, tell me why
you made a fool of me
~Me'Shell Ndegeocello "Fool of me"
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
~Lindsey Lohan "Confessions of a Broken Heart"
So the words you could not say
I'll sing them for you
And the love we would have made
I'll make it for two
For every single memory
Has become a part of me
You will always be My love
Well I've been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side
~George Michael "Jesus to a child"
So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you’ll love me
Love me like you’ll never see me again
~Alicia Keys "Like you'll never see me again"
Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
~Amel Larrieux "Makes me whole"
It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
~Lauryn Hill "Ex-Factor"
Lord they really think they fooling you by coming to church on Sunday
Praying and laying hands on folks stomping and jumping around faking the holy ghost
But its a thin line between walking it and talking it
Living it and giving it or just pretending it's alright
And did they really think that they could pull the wool over your eyes Lord
Did they really think that by faking they were saved that they would get the same reward
This be the realest thing I ever wrote for sure
After this a lot of folks wont like me no mo'but after this I gotta go answer to you Lord
So I've made up my mind I'm a go to church on Sunday and sing a song that may hurt Somebody's feelings so that maybe Thy will, will be done on earth as it is in heaven
And hopefully they will see how much they really be discouraging a little old sinner like me
~Lyfe Jennings "Made up my mind"
This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I’m made of stone
So I won’t end up with no broken bones
I can’t fight every battle aloneI want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard
~Amel Larrieux "Weary"
There ain't no room
For the hopeless sinner
Whom would hurt all mankind
Just to save his own
Have pitty on those whose
Chances grow thinner
For there is no hiding place
Against the kingdom's throne
People get ready
There's a train a commin'
You don't need no baggage
You just get on board
All You need is faith
To hear the diesels hummin'
You don't need no ticket
You just thank the Lord
~Curtis Mayfield "People get ready"
For what is a man?
What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.
~Frank Sinatra "My Way"
And then I go to see my brother
And I ask him to help me please
And he just winds up knockin' me
Back down on my knees
There were times when I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come
~Sam Cooke "A change is gonna come"
There will come a day
The song will ring out
Down those golden streets
The voices of earth with the angels will sing
Every knee will bow
Sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace
~Faith Hill "There will come a day"
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
~Keith Urban "Tonight I wanna cry"
Ain't nobody ever took the time to try to teach me what love was but you
And I ain't never trust anyone enough to let em tell me what to do
Teach me how to really show it and show me how to really love you baby
Teach me please just show me yeah
Cause I'm willing
To let go of my fears girl I'm serious
About all that I've said
Girl I wanna love you with all my heart
Baby show me where to start
Teach me how to love
~Musiq "Teach Me"
She say she never done it
She say she never tried
She sittin there tellin a mutha fuckin lie!
~Kilo Ali "Love in ya mouth"
Takin' my hits, writin' my hits
Writin' my rhymes, playin' my mind
This fuckin' job can't help him
So I quit, y'all welcome
Y'all don't know my struggle
Y'all can't match my hustle
You can't catch my hustle
You can't fathom my love dude
Lock yourself in a room doin' five beats a day for three summers
That's a different world like Cree Summers
I deserve to do these numbers
The kid that made that deserves that Maybach
So many records in my basement
I'm just waitin' on my spaceship
~Kanye West "Spaceship"
See I ain't got to get in your blouse
It's your eye contact, that be getting me aroused
When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines
Reflecting my light, when it shines, just takin our time
Before the night's through, we could get physical tooI
ain't tryin to say I don't wanna fuck, cause I do
But for me boo, makin love is just as much mental
I like to know what I'm gettin into
~Dead Prez "Mind Sex"
I been thinkin bout u lately
Thoughts take me to when we were close
Addicted 2 your love, feel i need another dose
I know it's a feeling
That should be long gone
Things seem to come up
When I hear our song
Golden brown girl, it seem so long
Since i heard your voice
Where did the king go wrong?
Emotions that that they linger on
I guess cause i never knew a love so strong
~Common " I want you"
My cornerstone
You're who I go to
The love that you've shown
Doesn't compare to any unknown
You're the exception, treasure
My patient love...Forever enduring you
One look at youYou see right through me
You know my moods
You know what I'm thinking
Feel what I'm feeling
Cause you're my best friend true, oh you
~Goapele ft. Dwele "You"
You are the only one
That's patient when I fall
Your angel's come to save me
Every time I call
You don't laugh at me
When I make mistakes and cry
You're not like man
You understand me
See people change
One day they don't like you
The next they do
I wish that everyone Could love me just like you
So here I am This sinful man
Peace won't allow
I was wondering can you hold me now
~Kirk Franklin "Hold me now"
I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual, the inspiration
That made Lady Sing the Blues...
I'm the spark that makes your idea bright
The same spark that lights the dark
So that you can know your left from your right...
I am the ballot in the box, the bullet in the gun
The innerglow that lets you know
To call your brother sun...
The story that just begun
The promise of what's to come
And I'm a remain a soldier 'til the war is won
~Asheru "Boondocks Theme"
Have a baby by me,
Baby Be a millionaire
I write the check before the baby comes,
Who the fuck cares?
~50 Cent "I get money"
ALL I NEED IS ONE LIFE,
ONE TRY,
ONE BREATH I'M ONE MAN
WHAT I STAND FOR SPEAKS FOR ITSELF,
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND
Or wanna see me on top, too egotistical
Talkin all that slick shit, the same way these bitches do
Wonder what my secrets is, niggaz'll move on you
only if they know, what your weakness is I have none
~NAS "One Mic"
I could buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight, my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But he needs you to help him be a man
We need you
So hard to say
We need you
~Jill Scott "The fact is (we need you)"
Set the standard for Atlanta, rearranged the league
Okay, so what tha fuck is fame to me?
I been poppin' since kindergarten, you's a lame to me
I give the niggas what they came to see
A reflection of one self where they aim to be
As you can see it ain't no changin me
And you won't meet another nigga off the chain as me
I'm so fly, no lie, don't deny it, ya feel it
So inspired by my style, decided to try it yo'self
Bet you won't, meet nobody ranked as high as myself
The checks you waitin' on, homes, I can sign them myself
~T.I. "Be Easy" MY THEME!
Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.
~John Mayer "Comfortable"
What's the feeling that I get
Every single time I look deep into your eyes
What's the tingle that I feel
At the touch of your hand up & down my spine
What's so funny, in my belly tryna tell me something
Feels like butterflies
What's the feeling, what's the tingle, what's the tickle,
What's the world got for you and I
And I swear it's real,
Yes it is can't nobody ever tell me otherwise
And I swear I feel,
No I can't deny what I'm feeling inside
Is this the way love feels?
~Chrisette Michele "Is this the way love feels"
Lately my soul’s been aching
It’s like I’m stuck in this state of competency
I love her with my whole heart
But we can’t escape the fights
We breakup Then, makeup the next night
Our relationship lacks trust
But neither one of us
Can’t seem to walk away
Cuz we’re bottled up in this lust
And I know I wanna hit
Cuz the sexual chemistry
Takes over her and me
And then I hear her scream
~Brandon Hines "Overdose"
And I got misery
Cause I know loving you's a sin
And I'll be on my knees
Praying that I don't give in
Now baby you and me
Never ever could have been
So I got misery
Because I'll love you till the end
~Amel Larrieux "Sweet Misery"
See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
My granny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't walk around trying to be what Im not
I don't waste my time trying to get what you got
I work at pleasin me
Cause I can't please you and thats why I do what I do
~Erykah Badu "Appletree"
Well, from my understanding people get better
when they start to understand that, they are valuable
And they not valuable because they got a whole lot of money
or cause somebody, think they sexy
but they valuable cause they been created by God
And God, makes you valuable
And whether or not you, recognize that value is one thing
You got a lot of socities and governments
tryin to be God, wishin that they were God
They wanna create satellites and cameras everywhere
and make you think they got the all-seein eye
~Mos Def "Fear Not of Man"
I remember when you filled my heart with joy
was I blind to the truth, just there to fill the space?
cause now, you have no interest in anything that I have to say
and I've allowed you to make me feel(I feel so dumb)
what kind of fool am I?
you so easily set me aside
you made a fool of me
tell me why
you say that you don't care, but
we made love, tell me why
you made a fool of me
~Me'Shell Ndegeocello "Fool of me"
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart
~Lindsey Lohan "Confessions of a Broken Heart"
So the words you could not say
I'll sing them for you
And the love we would have made
I'll make it for two
For every single memory
Has become a part of me
You will always be My love
Well I've been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side
~George Michael "Jesus to a child"
Friday, November 16, 2007
Over my shoulder
I wonder a lot of the time how I've gotten to the place that I am, and how I will get to the places I'll go. Presently, I am very happy as I think about my future and what it holds. I am happy about the people in my life, and the accomplishments they are making. I am happy personally even though I'm single, I'm ALL THE WAY single which is something I haven't been in a long time and I'm overjoyed about it really. Growth and change are necessary for a person to become a better them, and I think college definitely facilitates that...
Its so crazy to watch things like, old movies and old TV shows like A different World and note how they mean something totally different than what they used to. Life experience has changed us and we will never have that youthful innocence back as we have become older and hopefully wiser. Friends have hurt us and helped us to recognize the characteristics of true friendship. Our parents have become human to us rather than these superheroes. Our exes have loved us and hurt us and taught us our standards and expectations, and now our sense of what a functional mature relationship is becoming better defined. All of these things that we didn't understand at the time have helped mold us into the person we are today and hopefully we can look in the mirror and LOVE that person.
If not then you know, we are human and we all fall short sometimes, but the beautiful thing about life is you're not stuck. You're never stuck in a job or stuck in a relationship or stuck in a mindset. God gave us a choice, and we always have the opportunity to change something we are unhappy with if we choose to do so.
Keeping that in mind, enjoy life and find something to smile about everyday because life is beautiful and we are BLESSED, and favored...My favorite parable: A man calls to the Lord and says, Lord my cross is too heavy to bear I feel burdened and overwhelmed and hopeless what should I do? The Lord takes the man into a room filled with crosses and tells the man to pick out a new one. The man sifts through the crosses some big, some too heavy to carry, but finally decides on one small cross just big enough for him to carry. He asks the Lord if he can bear this cross instead, and the Lord replies, "My child that is the one you came in with."
It is important that we remember everybody goes through things, but He will never put more on you than you can bear. Whatever it is you're going through it is for a reason and you will come out of it if only you have faith. Surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting and are supportive and if someone is blocking that positivity LET THEM GO. Thats maybe one of the hardest things to do in life, but pruning and weed-eating is apart of growth. You can't be afraid of change, you can't be afraid to try something new. If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got. As you walk down life's crooked path, when you look over your shoulder, you'll see a straight line. Hindsight is always 20/20, trust, have faith, live laugh LOVE!
Its so crazy to watch things like, old movies and old TV shows like A different World and note how they mean something totally different than what they used to. Life experience has changed us and we will never have that youthful innocence back as we have become older and hopefully wiser. Friends have hurt us and helped us to recognize the characteristics of true friendship. Our parents have become human to us rather than these superheroes. Our exes have loved us and hurt us and taught us our standards and expectations, and now our sense of what a functional mature relationship is becoming better defined. All of these things that we didn't understand at the time have helped mold us into the person we are today and hopefully we can look in the mirror and LOVE that person.
If not then you know, we are human and we all fall short sometimes, but the beautiful thing about life is you're not stuck. You're never stuck in a job or stuck in a relationship or stuck in a mindset. God gave us a choice, and we always have the opportunity to change something we are unhappy with if we choose to do so.
Keeping that in mind, enjoy life and find something to smile about everyday because life is beautiful and we are BLESSED, and favored...My favorite parable: A man calls to the Lord and says, Lord my cross is too heavy to bear I feel burdened and overwhelmed and hopeless what should I do? The Lord takes the man into a room filled with crosses and tells the man to pick out a new one. The man sifts through the crosses some big, some too heavy to carry, but finally decides on one small cross just big enough for him to carry. He asks the Lord if he can bear this cross instead, and the Lord replies, "My child that is the one you came in with."
It is important that we remember everybody goes through things, but He will never put more on you than you can bear. Whatever it is you're going through it is for a reason and you will come out of it if only you have faith. Surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting and are supportive and if someone is blocking that positivity LET THEM GO. Thats maybe one of the hardest things to do in life, but pruning and weed-eating is apart of growth. You can't be afraid of change, you can't be afraid to try something new. If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got. As you walk down life's crooked path, when you look over your shoulder, you'll see a straight line. Hindsight is always 20/20, trust, have faith, live laugh LOVE!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Little Boys & Frienemies
I know for a fact this one people will be able to feel me on, and that is so unfortunate. Trusting. Something that shouldn't be hard but becomes increasingly difficult with age and life experience. That is not exclusive to romantic relationships either... How many people really trust the people they associate themselves with. Or do you have, within your group of associates, those select few that you don't share your life with? Perhaps they haven't earned your trust, or maybe you've vicariously learned that they are not to be trusted. Either way, why even keep those people in your life???
To me, lying and cheating are the ultimate no-nos in relationships and grounds for immediate dismissal because if I cant trust my partner then what else is there? Constantly wondering if he is where he said he would be, or if he's telling me things just to make me happy but has other intentions is NERVEWRECKING and I absolutely refuse to put up with it. Perhaps unjustly and prematurely I have stopped talking to people all together because of lies. Everyone knows whats done in the dark always comes out in the light, so why even fix your mouth to tell a lie? An ex of mine told me that its not always so personal, that people aren't lying to me because its me, they'd tell that lie 'in general'. Well I'd like to think that if you're trying to date me, or be in a relationship with me, you'd take the extra effort to separate me from the 'in general' people you'd normally lie to and keep it 100 with me. I don't think thats too much to ask for....
Moving off men for a second, friends....how many of us have them? Maybe the realest line ever rapped, right? Girls, perhaps can understand this better than men but it is SO hard to find a group of women to be friends with that you can really be friends with. A lot of times a group forms from the blending of two groups or someone is a friend of a friend, that means you off bat want to trust her because someone YOU trust trusts her (hope thats not confusing). Anyway, but sooooooo many times you find yourself burned by women and for what? A career opp? A man? Honey if he left that easily she did you a favor, write her a thank you note and keep it moving. And the thing that puzzles me is, women will hurt each other, smile in your face while she's steady trying to get your man and in essesnce prove something. Jealousy is the root of a lot of this. Its simple: Jane is confident, attractive, social, and happy. Sue lacks self-esteem, is very attractive, social, and unhappy and Sue will try to take what Jane has to get that confidence and that happiness. Well SUEs of the world....This joy I have, the world didn't give it, Baby! So if you find that core group of women who are supportive, positive, ambitious, trustworthy and loyal, then hold on to them and nurture those relationships, its not worth it extended the friendship circle sometimes.
Back to guys for closing...Men a real man doesn't play games appreciates what he has and understands the 80/20 rule, only a little boy has to lie to get what he wants. Ladies, a real class act doesn't set her goals at the achievements of others and there's enough out there trying to hold us down DON'T be part of the problem!
Its funny how low self-esteem causes so much drama...but we'll save that for tomorrow!!
To me, lying and cheating are the ultimate no-nos in relationships and grounds for immediate dismissal because if I cant trust my partner then what else is there? Constantly wondering if he is where he said he would be, or if he's telling me things just to make me happy but has other intentions is NERVEWRECKING and I absolutely refuse to put up with it. Perhaps unjustly and prematurely I have stopped talking to people all together because of lies. Everyone knows whats done in the dark always comes out in the light, so why even fix your mouth to tell a lie? An ex of mine told me that its not always so personal, that people aren't lying to me because its me, they'd tell that lie 'in general'. Well I'd like to think that if you're trying to date me, or be in a relationship with me, you'd take the extra effort to separate me from the 'in general' people you'd normally lie to and keep it 100 with me. I don't think thats too much to ask for....
Moving off men for a second, friends....how many of us have them? Maybe the realest line ever rapped, right? Girls, perhaps can understand this better than men but it is SO hard to find a group of women to be friends with that you can really be friends with. A lot of times a group forms from the blending of two groups or someone is a friend of a friend, that means you off bat want to trust her because someone YOU trust trusts her (hope thats not confusing). Anyway, but sooooooo many times you find yourself burned by women and for what? A career opp? A man? Honey if he left that easily she did you a favor, write her a thank you note and keep it moving. And the thing that puzzles me is, women will hurt each other, smile in your face while she's steady trying to get your man and in essesnce prove something. Jealousy is the root of a lot of this. Its simple: Jane is confident, attractive, social, and happy. Sue lacks self-esteem, is very attractive, social, and unhappy and Sue will try to take what Jane has to get that confidence and that happiness. Well SUEs of the world....This joy I have, the world didn't give it, Baby! So if you find that core group of women who are supportive, positive, ambitious, trustworthy and loyal, then hold on to them and nurture those relationships, its not worth it extended the friendship circle sometimes.
Back to guys for closing...Men a real man doesn't play games appreciates what he has and understands the 80/20 rule, only a little boy has to lie to get what he wants. Ladies, a real class act doesn't set her goals at the achievements of others and there's enough out there trying to hold us down DON'T be part of the problem!
Its funny how low self-esteem causes so much drama...but we'll save that for tomorrow!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
I wanna be 6 again
In one of my favorite John Mayer songs "83" he says
Well these days I wish I was six again. Oh make me a red cape I wanna be superman. Oh if only my life was more like 1983, All these things would be more like they were at the start of me. If my life was more like 1983, Plot a course to the source of the purest little part of me...
And I couldn't agree more. What would life be like if you woke up and were suddenly 6 again? Would you want to be completely ignorant of all life's lessons thus far? Would you be doomed to repeat the same mistakes? Would you want to be knowledgeable of your 17+/_ years lost? Would you do things differently, inevitably causing a butterfly effect on the rest of your life, now leading you down an entirely different path....Life was so carefree at 6, its before the basic dramas of life when your biggest worry is what's to eat for lunch. Is it wrong to long for the days of simple pleasures and no responsibilities?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Cakin
I'm starting an anti-caking coalition...because you know what? The shit is useless. I've decided treat men like mushrooms: You feed them shit and keep them in the dark. Because you know what, the more you act right the more they run in the opposite direction...but the second you're like "fuck you and fuck this" they wanna act right. What IS that? And of course once you've decided to get over him, he'll be the man you wanted him to be all along. I'm taking a stand against the cycle, ladies stop baking the cake!
Nooooo I'm not bitter, its just a random inexplicable fact of life that after a certain amount of relationships and a certain amount of hearbreak that the hardest thing is to let someone in and let someone love you. Now in a perfect world men would all be sitting around wrapped in this fear that they'll get hurt but lets be real...they're not. Half the time when they have a good thing they're looking to upgrade. This is not all, just most. I'm ready to scream, I am the best thing that you COULD have had. Then of course women are all analytical thinking what did I do wrong? Not shit! Ok thats not true, sometimes we fuck up ladies. But sometimes the shit is out of the blue like, just POOF 'I'm not gonna act right today...or ever' and we are left thinking what the hell was I wasting my time for? STOP BAKING THE CAKE
The Player handbook tells men to give a girl just enough to keep her wanting more...at least initially. So lets adopt that motto. We're too old for mind games and such, so if he's not acting right, count your losses and stop actin right your damn self. Go dumb.
Him: What you doing tonight?
You: I don't even know...
Him: Oh well maybe I can roll through later
You: I don't know, I'll text you.
Yeah he's thinkin what the fuck. You supposed to be there, didn't you know?!? Don't be predictable...and if he wants to leave, let him. Let him go get that 20 and leave this 80 at home. Just make sure you're really the 80!!!
Now, cakin with your man is totally different that cakin with your homeboy. Save the cake for someone special. And even then every once in a while, let him woo you all over again. The fun is in the chase, so sometimes he's got to think you might get away even if you're going nowhere. I could write a book on this shit...
Nooooo I'm not bitter, its just a random inexplicable fact of life that after a certain amount of relationships and a certain amount of hearbreak that the hardest thing is to let someone in and let someone love you. Now in a perfect world men would all be sitting around wrapped in this fear that they'll get hurt but lets be real...they're not. Half the time when they have a good thing they're looking to upgrade. This is not all, just most. I'm ready to scream, I am the best thing that you COULD have had. Then of course women are all analytical thinking what did I do wrong? Not shit! Ok thats not true, sometimes we fuck up ladies. But sometimes the shit is out of the blue like, just POOF 'I'm not gonna act right today...or ever' and we are left thinking what the hell was I wasting my time for? STOP BAKING THE CAKE
The Player handbook tells men to give a girl just enough to keep her wanting more...at least initially. So lets adopt that motto. We're too old for mind games and such, so if he's not acting right, count your losses and stop actin right your damn self. Go dumb.
Him: What you doing tonight?
You: I don't even know...
Him: Oh well maybe I can roll through later
You: I don't know, I'll text you.
Yeah he's thinkin what the fuck. You supposed to be there, didn't you know?!? Don't be predictable...and if he wants to leave, let him. Let him go get that 20 and leave this 80 at home. Just make sure you're really the 80!!!
Now, cakin with your man is totally different that cakin with your homeboy. Save the cake for someone special. And even then every once in a while, let him woo you all over again. The fun is in the chase, so sometimes he's got to think you might get away even if you're going nowhere. I could write a book on this shit...
Friday, November 2, 2007
Addiction *repost*
Preface:
For those of you who don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy…this allusion may be lost to you, but get your life together and tune in! Last week’s episode was centered on ‘addiction’ and one quote that stuck out to me was from Burke’s mother she said “An honorable man doesn’t settle for less than he deserves.” That has been on my mind for the last few days and I can’t help but apply it to my own life. It’s almost always easier to stay than to walk away especially when it comes to matters of the heart…
Settling…nobody wants to think of it as that, but that’s exactly what it is when we refuse to fight for what we deserve and walk away from inferior offerings. When you’ve loved somebody for so long and you have been through the fire together, it takes a strong person to walk away when you know you should. He doesn’t bother calling, she’s always with her friends, and you have that gut-wrenching but infallible feeling that infidelity has entered the picture but you can’t walk away because you’re addicted. You stay with them longing to achieve the feeling of that first high, those butterflies in your stomach, that smile that spreads across your face when you see their name on your caller ID, you are a fiend and you’ve started to settle for a little hit rather than quit cold turkey. Avoid the addict’s itch for just a little kiss, evade the addict’s desperation for a simple I love you, contest the addict’s withdrawal from the lack of interest. Just the slightest bit of attention from them and its enough to satiate your hunger for a little while, maybe you go on a date to try to fix things and you’re through the roof with elation…You’re so high, don’t want to come down, you’re love stoned and you can’t seem to remember the problems, the fights, the lies, the half-truths, or the differences that not to long ago consumed your body leaving it hollow and in need. You’re constantly chasing faded memories of how it used to be, and one day you look in the mirror and won’t recognize yourself. Who is this person that used to be so strong, so independent and carefree? The light in your eyes has faded, the song in your heart has been muted, the addiction-to him or to her, its all you can think about. Even in dreams you can’t escape it. Your subconscious self knows better than anyone how much you rely on that love, the love that used to be so strong and made you so happy has now become the catalyst in your spiritual demise.
What makes you stay…is it the love, the intimacy, the fear of starting over, the comfort of that warm body next to yours at night? When did you lose yourself in him, how did it even happen? You can’t pinpoint any exact moment, can’t remember the exact date and time where you began to settle…Settle for excuses rather than the truth, empty promises rather than action, thoughtless gifts instead of warm notes just because, slipshod sex instead of passionate love making. You can feel yourself falling deeper and deeper prey to your addiction but you can’t find the strength to leave; to stand up for yourself and prepare to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. You tell yourself you can work through the problems, love conquers all and all you need to do is pray. But why pray if you’re not listening to the answer? A man in love with his woman wants her to be happy, he cherishes her, calls just because he’s thinking about her, wants to be near her because of the way she makes him feel, praises her feminity and does not stifle her growth as a strong, productive woman. A woman in love with her man supports him throughout his trials, cares for and nurtures him because his joy is her joy, she does not emasculate him but rather encourages him to stand up be a man and claim his place in society. Love shouldn’t hurt, love is not addiction it’s a reflection of something greater than man.
Walking away…its not going to be easy, as a matter of fact is sucks. You have given so much of yourself to this person that you now have to begin to redefine yourself. Take each lesson as it was given and dismiss any feelings of anger, wrath, and retribution-you’re better than that. You can kick this habit, chose yourself. And the first is the worst, never before have you given so much of yourself to another person. This is unchartered territory. Where do you even began to heal? Find comfort in the notion that there is someone out there ready to love you as you should be loved. Find joy in knowing you are not mediocre and by settling for half-ass love you are diminishing your self worth, increase your market value by walking away. Find peace by indulging in those healthy relationships you have made with family, friends, and Christ. But in the mean time, if you think its still worth it…settle for the love that hurts so good. Get your pleasure from your pain. Relish in your addiction to the reminiscences of love.
For those of you who don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy…this allusion may be lost to you, but get your life together and tune in! Last week’s episode was centered on ‘addiction’ and one quote that stuck out to me was from Burke’s mother she said “An honorable man doesn’t settle for less than he deserves.” That has been on my mind for the last few days and I can’t help but apply it to my own life. It’s almost always easier to stay than to walk away especially when it comes to matters of the heart…
Settling…nobody wants to think of it as that, but that’s exactly what it is when we refuse to fight for what we deserve and walk away from inferior offerings. When you’ve loved somebody for so long and you have been through the fire together, it takes a strong person to walk away when you know you should. He doesn’t bother calling, she’s always with her friends, and you have that gut-wrenching but infallible feeling that infidelity has entered the picture but you can’t walk away because you’re addicted. You stay with them longing to achieve the feeling of that first high, those butterflies in your stomach, that smile that spreads across your face when you see their name on your caller ID, you are a fiend and you’ve started to settle for a little hit rather than quit cold turkey. Avoid the addict’s itch for just a little kiss, evade the addict’s desperation for a simple I love you, contest the addict’s withdrawal from the lack of interest. Just the slightest bit of attention from them and its enough to satiate your hunger for a little while, maybe you go on a date to try to fix things and you’re through the roof with elation…You’re so high, don’t want to come down, you’re love stoned and you can’t seem to remember the problems, the fights, the lies, the half-truths, or the differences that not to long ago consumed your body leaving it hollow and in need. You’re constantly chasing faded memories of how it used to be, and one day you look in the mirror and won’t recognize yourself. Who is this person that used to be so strong, so independent and carefree? The light in your eyes has faded, the song in your heart has been muted, the addiction-to him or to her, its all you can think about. Even in dreams you can’t escape it. Your subconscious self knows better than anyone how much you rely on that love, the love that used to be so strong and made you so happy has now become the catalyst in your spiritual demise.
What makes you stay…is it the love, the intimacy, the fear of starting over, the comfort of that warm body next to yours at night? When did you lose yourself in him, how did it even happen? You can’t pinpoint any exact moment, can’t remember the exact date and time where you began to settle…Settle for excuses rather than the truth, empty promises rather than action, thoughtless gifts instead of warm notes just because, slipshod sex instead of passionate love making. You can feel yourself falling deeper and deeper prey to your addiction but you can’t find the strength to leave; to stand up for yourself and prepare to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. You tell yourself you can work through the problems, love conquers all and all you need to do is pray. But why pray if you’re not listening to the answer? A man in love with his woman wants her to be happy, he cherishes her, calls just because he’s thinking about her, wants to be near her because of the way she makes him feel, praises her feminity and does not stifle her growth as a strong, productive woman. A woman in love with her man supports him throughout his trials, cares for and nurtures him because his joy is her joy, she does not emasculate him but rather encourages him to stand up be a man and claim his place in society. Love shouldn’t hurt, love is not addiction it’s a reflection of something greater than man.
Walking away…its not going to be easy, as a matter of fact is sucks. You have given so much of yourself to this person that you now have to begin to redefine yourself. Take each lesson as it was given and dismiss any feelings of anger, wrath, and retribution-you’re better than that. You can kick this habit, chose yourself. And the first is the worst, never before have you given so much of yourself to another person. This is unchartered territory. Where do you even began to heal? Find comfort in the notion that there is someone out there ready to love you as you should be loved. Find joy in knowing you are not mediocre and by settling for half-ass love you are diminishing your self worth, increase your market value by walking away. Find peace by indulging in those healthy relationships you have made with family, friends, and Christ. But in the mean time, if you think its still worth it…settle for the love that hurts so good. Get your pleasure from your pain. Relish in your addiction to the reminiscences of love.
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