You know the old saying, "An empty barrel makes the most noise," well I feel like that saying is particularly relevant this week. People with no credibility and little character have found it necessary to speak out about things they are not equipped to speak on. A person has taken it upon themselves to verbally attack people when it was not necessary or even called for. Last night a response was written but its more than that...it comes down to, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? And not even on a personal level, like in the grand scheme of things, who are you and who are the people in general who find the need to talk shit and run their mouths with 0 to back it up?
I find it particularly interesting that the people who draw attention to themselves bad mouthing others, usually have the most skeletons in their closet. Its funny because you would think that those with something to hide would want to be as incog. as possible but its quite the opposite. Because they need validation. Their lives are so empty that they create drama around themselves...What better way to build social credibility than to say the best of the best, or the HNIC has beef with you? When in actuality the best is not thinking about you because why should they? Why dignify these empty barrels with a response? Why say anything; actions speak WAY louder than words and when was the last time you DID something worth noting besides run your mouth?
Its so easy to get caught up in the mud slinging and name-calling and such, as we all learned on monday-Nigga Moments are hard to avoid. I'm not quite pressing all the peace and harmony...I'm more saying don't even dignify yourself by thinking you're competition Mr. or Mrs. Empty Barrel. There isn't a need for words when you're truly the best at something, your greatness is depicted in your actions, how you carry yourself, and how you treat others. Clearly...class and tact are loss on you.
Empty Barrels are making all that noise because they want attention, they want to be noticed, they need to be on the lips of everyone, they need social validation. Ignoring them would be the best solution but not always the easiest, but once a hater has you off track, they have succeeded in their goal and that is unfortunate. It is a test of character to be able to look beyond the trifles in life, and remain undeterred by distractions. However, it is essential to success, as there will always be a few empty barrels along the path.
Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger. Job 17:9
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Circles
Why is it so hard to just say what you want. To simply say, I like you lets be together. I fucked up, I'm sorry. I made a mistake, forgive me. I don't think its working, I want to be single. You're not what's best for me, I can't do this anymore. Whatever the case may be...we have such a hard time getting over whatever barriers we've created in our heads to get to the center of the maze. Is it the excitement, the drama, the suspsense of knowing that problem we can easily solve will still be there tomorrow. Is it the realiablity of mental chaos? When do we get to grow up and stop the guessing games and just be real with one another? Please someone tell me that in adulthood I won't have to analyze what a text message really meant. Tell me that when I'm grown what he says is what he meant and his actions will reinforce his words. Tell me that my middle school relationship wasn't the prototype for all my future relationships.
I'm optimistic, either that or alone in starting a movement for growing up. I have faith that one day when I like you, I can tell you and it won't be a 3-week issue over whether I should tell you and how. We don't have to play games, beating around bushes and dancing in circles avoiding what we both want to say. Tell me what you're not saying, thats the best conversation we've ever had...you know the one thats yet to come. Lets grow up together and just be real...
I'm optimistic, either that or alone in starting a movement for growing up. I have faith that one day when I like you, I can tell you and it won't be a 3-week issue over whether I should tell you and how. We don't have to play games, beating around bushes and dancing in circles avoiding what we both want to say. Tell me what you're not saying, thats the best conversation we've ever had...you know the one thats yet to come. Lets grow up together and just be real...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Nigga Hymn
Niggas to my left
Niggas to my right
Niggas surround me like theives in the night
Niggas always yelling
Talking 'bout not shit
Probably got fired, but nigga holl'n bout he quit
Niggas love hoes
Niggas love to fuck
Niggas got a gang of kids cuz they refuse to just strap up
Niggas ride 28s
'Round the hood so you can see
Bumpin that 'I'm serious' yellin, nigga FREE T.I.P
Niggas are nomadic
Niggas got 4 or 5 phones
Hit me on my chirp, cuz niggas never be at home
Nigga can't get a loan
Niggas got bad credit
D-boys carry stacks, what the fucks a Visa debit?
Niggas blame the man
Always holdin out their hand
When you ask 'the man' to feed you, nigga you LOSE again
Avoiding responsiblity
Never taking the blame
Niggas are as broken as the traps and hoods they claim
Niggas make you laugh,
Can shoot the shit all day
Give a nigga a book, and watch that nigga shy away
Ignorance is bliss
Knowledge is the missing link
White folks'll continue to rule the world
If we think like niggas think.
Niggas to my right
Niggas surround me like theives in the night
Niggas always yelling
Talking 'bout not shit
Probably got fired, but nigga holl'n bout he quit
Niggas love hoes
Niggas love to fuck
Niggas got a gang of kids cuz they refuse to just strap up
Niggas ride 28s
'Round the hood so you can see
Bumpin that 'I'm serious' yellin, nigga FREE T.I.P
Niggas are nomadic
Niggas got 4 or 5 phones
Hit me on my chirp, cuz niggas never be at home
Nigga can't get a loan
Niggas got bad credit
D-boys carry stacks, what the fucks a Visa debit?
Niggas blame the man
Always holdin out their hand
When you ask 'the man' to feed you, nigga you LOSE again
Avoiding responsiblity
Never taking the blame
Niggas are as broken as the traps and hoods they claim
Niggas make you laugh,
Can shoot the shit all day
Give a nigga a book, and watch that nigga shy away
Ignorance is bliss
Knowledge is the missing link
White folks'll continue to rule the world
If we think like niggas think.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
The one...and the other one
Carrie and Big and Aidan. Allie had Noah and Lon. Belle had Beast and Gaston. OK so maybe the last one was a stretch but it seems like in fiction, as well as real life there's always 'the one' and the other one... There's always the practical one the responsible one, the one who's good to you and treats you with dignity and respect, who gives you no reason to complain or worry, in other words the boring one. Then theres the one who can get under your skin like no one else can, the one who presses your buttons, tells you you're wrong, and doesn't baby you...but his touch sends your heart soaring, his calls make you smile, and theres unbelievable passion. Every girl throughout the course of her life will be faced with 'the one' and 'the other one'. Its hard because both are good men, both will be capable providers, both offer you the love you want, but its how they love that is different...
Aidan Shaw/Lon Hammond/The other one
This guy is a hard one to give up because he's quite a catch. And some women don't give him up, some settle into happy, quiet lives with their Aidans and infinitely long for that something that is missing in their relationship. You can't quite put your finger on it, and you wish you could love him wholly. You wish you had the same fire and fervor for Aidan that you have for 'the one' but you just don't, and some women will never admit that to themselves. The other one is loyal, and wants to please you, and wants to share his world with you...the only problem is you don't really care. Its boring and as nice as predictability is, it gets old. Relationships need spontaneity, the fire can't die out or else the couple is doomed. To think that some women marry 'the other one' have kids with him, and build a home and essentially a fortress of longing. Longing for something more. I'm a firm believer that your husband should be your best sex, your most passionate kiss, your best friend, someone you can teach and learn from, someone with whom you can laugh, fight, and make up with. You should be able to explore your full range of emotions with your significant other. Aidans typically try to satiate their women suppressing sadness, greif, or anger. Its not that they don't care, but they just want everything and everyone to be happy. In reality though, we can't be happy all the time. Everyone needs a good cry every once in a while, conflict can bring people closer together in the end, don't avoid fights welcome the conflict as an opprotunity to compromise and grow together. But...Aidan is smart, successful, loving, open, and loves you. Its hard to turn down safety.
Mr. Big/Noah Calhoun/ The One
You laugh together at things you can't begin to explain to other people, he is your comforter when you cry, but he can irritate you more than anyone in the entire world and often does...but the good outweighs the bad. When you fight, its full of just as much passion and enthusiasm as your joyous times. But you two understand each other in a way that you can't explain. Sometimes your best friends don't like him...thats mainly because you've been through the ringer so many times with this guy that its hard for them to understand why you keep going back. You know, though, that at the end of the day, his is the last voice you want to hear and the last hand you want to hold. You can talk to him about anything without being judged, you are free to be yourself with him. Thats the most important thing, when you're with 'the one' you love who you are, he makes YOU a better you. Sometimes it feels illogical because the relationship is unpredictable and maybe even unorthodox, but it doesn't matter because you can't plan love, it just happens and you go where it takes you. What can I say...you just know. And you know you know, sometimes you don't want to admit it...but you always know deep down inside that this is the person I'm supposed to be with. This is the person that I'm supposed to share my life. He is my gift from Him. The one loves you enough to hurt your feelings, they are afraid of you leaving over a simple dispute. They are they ones who evolve and grow with you, they are nurturing your emotions not suppressing them. Lol a long time ago my my friend C said, every girl wants a guy to punch her in the eye. Now I don't agree with this literally, but figuratively, yeah...who really wants a 'yes, dear' who never puts up a fight or poses a challenge. Why be in a relationship if its all about me???
Its crazy because the only difference between choosing 'the one' and 'the other one' is fear. Fear of unpredictablity and taking a risk. But the bigger the risk the bigger the pay-off. And its understandable that many don't want to gamble with their hearts...but those same people who take the safe bets will be the same ones 15 years into a marriage who either get divorced or stay unhappily in the marriage feeling unfulfilled and lost. So...balls to the wall, or fold?
Aidan Shaw/Lon Hammond/The other one
This guy is a hard one to give up because he's quite a catch. And some women don't give him up, some settle into happy, quiet lives with their Aidans and infinitely long for that something that is missing in their relationship. You can't quite put your finger on it, and you wish you could love him wholly. You wish you had the same fire and fervor for Aidan that you have for 'the one' but you just don't, and some women will never admit that to themselves. The other one is loyal, and wants to please you, and wants to share his world with you...the only problem is you don't really care. Its boring and as nice as predictability is, it gets old. Relationships need spontaneity, the fire can't die out or else the couple is doomed. To think that some women marry 'the other one' have kids with him, and build a home and essentially a fortress of longing. Longing for something more. I'm a firm believer that your husband should be your best sex, your most passionate kiss, your best friend, someone you can teach and learn from, someone with whom you can laugh, fight, and make up with. You should be able to explore your full range of emotions with your significant other. Aidans typically try to satiate their women suppressing sadness, greif, or anger. Its not that they don't care, but they just want everything and everyone to be happy. In reality though, we can't be happy all the time. Everyone needs a good cry every once in a while, conflict can bring people closer together in the end, don't avoid fights welcome the conflict as an opprotunity to compromise and grow together. But...Aidan is smart, successful, loving, open, and loves you. Its hard to turn down safety.
Mr. Big/Noah Calhoun/ The One
You laugh together at things you can't begin to explain to other people, he is your comforter when you cry, but he can irritate you more than anyone in the entire world and often does...but the good outweighs the bad. When you fight, its full of just as much passion and enthusiasm as your joyous times. But you two understand each other in a way that you can't explain. Sometimes your best friends don't like him...thats mainly because you've been through the ringer so many times with this guy that its hard for them to understand why you keep going back. You know, though, that at the end of the day, his is the last voice you want to hear and the last hand you want to hold. You can talk to him about anything without being judged, you are free to be yourself with him. Thats the most important thing, when you're with 'the one' you love who you are, he makes YOU a better you. Sometimes it feels illogical because the relationship is unpredictable and maybe even unorthodox, but it doesn't matter because you can't plan love, it just happens and you go where it takes you. What can I say...you just know. And you know you know, sometimes you don't want to admit it...but you always know deep down inside that this is the person I'm supposed to be with. This is the person that I'm supposed to share my life. He is my gift from Him. The one loves you enough to hurt your feelings, they are afraid of you leaving over a simple dispute. They are they ones who evolve and grow with you, they are nurturing your emotions not suppressing them. Lol a long time ago my my friend C said, every girl wants a guy to punch her in the eye. Now I don't agree with this literally, but figuratively, yeah...who really wants a 'yes, dear' who never puts up a fight or poses a challenge. Why be in a relationship if its all about me???
Its crazy because the only difference between choosing 'the one' and 'the other one' is fear. Fear of unpredictablity and taking a risk. But the bigger the risk the bigger the pay-off. And its understandable that many don't want to gamble with their hearts...but those same people who take the safe bets will be the same ones 15 years into a marriage who either get divorced or stay unhappily in the marriage feeling unfulfilled and lost. So...balls to the wall, or fold?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The L word
Its supposed to be the greatest thing in the world to love someone, and have them love you back. But for some people, they are getting in their own paths to true happiness. Fear makes you trepid and anxious and can lead you to create all kinds of reasons for avoiding love. Its so crazy when you think about it logically, how can someone be afraid of happiness? How can someone have reservations about allowing someone love you? Sometimes, its not always about a phobia... A friend of mine, J, she said sometimes those people who avoid commitment aren't always afraid of it, they simply realize the seriousness of it and therefore approach it with great caution. Being one of those people, I like to think of it like that too.
What are you afraid of? A question that is simple enough to ask, but the answer can hold infinite ends. I'm afraid of getting hurt, I'm afraid of losing love, I'm afraid of letting someone in, I'm afraid of trusting, I'm afraid of intimacy. Fear...will be the death of love. Love isn't going anywhere, but if we continue to remain paralyzed by hypothetical casualties then we are missing out on life. Shakespere said, "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt, " in his play Measure for Measure. And how true that is...how many things have you missed out on because you were too afraid to simply try? How many of us have overlooked love, we saw it, recognized it, and ran the other way out of fear. How many of us have brought our past relationships into our present ones leaving our current mates chipping at the wall around our hearts with a butterknife. Its insane. WHY are we afraid of happiness.
Speaking from personal experience, I know that I have rules that allow me to keep it casual. For instance, I never use real names. Once u name the puppy you're keeping it, silly as it sounds. Another thing, titles, you can't break up if you're never together. Homeboys 4 life lol, I have been in a 5 year non-relationship with a guy 75% of my friends have no idea of his real name. And last night he asks, me 'What am I afraid of'... EVERYTHING! Its scary to care so much about a person, and to have them know you as intimately as people in relationships do. Its terrifying to imagine that you are vulnerable and they can hurt you more than anyone in the world because unlike with family you have chosen to share your life with them, you have voluntarily divulged secrets, flaws, likes and dislikes, habits, idosyncracies, dreams, goals, fears, experiences and all with them and you are trusting them with the most personal details of your life.
I don't know why you love me, and thats why I love you...
Funny little line, but its so true. Those people that love you, when you're a commitment phobe you wonder why? When you know all the good as well as the bad, why do you stay? After I refuse to let you in, won't commit to you, put you in the friendship zone, and in some cases even encourage you to persue other relationships...but still you love me. I saw a quote on mySpace and it read, "Sometimes people build walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." I think there's some truth to that because after a heartbreak, a wall goes up no matter how hard you try to avoid it, and you develop these defense mechanisms to keep you from getting hurt again. Ever player in the game has experiences a great heartbreak that lead them to that lifestyle. But you know, if you keep pushing and pushing, eventually they'll leave. Now what? Was it worth it? Was the threat of love worse than lonliness? Will meaningless relationships and frivilous sexual escapades fill the void left by the one you threw away?
I tell my mother, step-father, aunts & uncles, sisters, best friends, cousins and friends I love them all the time. I make it a point for the people in my life to know how much they mean to me...but when it comes down to this person, this guy who's been there pushing me to open up, patiently awaiting his turn I can't say the words. I would love to think that it'll come in time, that one day I'll grow out of it and one day I'll wake up and want to shout it from the rooftops...but I just don't know. For now I guess, fear and I will continue our tryst. Back and forth until one of us surrenders.
What are you afraid of? A question that is simple enough to ask, but the answer can hold infinite ends. I'm afraid of getting hurt, I'm afraid of losing love, I'm afraid of letting someone in, I'm afraid of trusting, I'm afraid of intimacy. Fear...will be the death of love. Love isn't going anywhere, but if we continue to remain paralyzed by hypothetical casualties then we are missing out on life. Shakespere said, "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt, " in his play Measure for Measure. And how true that is...how many things have you missed out on because you were too afraid to simply try? How many of us have overlooked love, we saw it, recognized it, and ran the other way out of fear. How many of us have brought our past relationships into our present ones leaving our current mates chipping at the wall around our hearts with a butterknife. Its insane. WHY are we afraid of happiness.
Speaking from personal experience, I know that I have rules that allow me to keep it casual. For instance, I never use real names. Once u name the puppy you're keeping it, silly as it sounds. Another thing, titles, you can't break up if you're never together. Homeboys 4 life lol, I have been in a 5 year non-relationship with a guy 75% of my friends have no idea of his real name. And last night he asks, me 'What am I afraid of'... EVERYTHING! Its scary to care so much about a person, and to have them know you as intimately as people in relationships do. Its terrifying to imagine that you are vulnerable and they can hurt you more than anyone in the world because unlike with family you have chosen to share your life with them, you have voluntarily divulged secrets, flaws, likes and dislikes, habits, idosyncracies, dreams, goals, fears, experiences and all with them and you are trusting them with the most personal details of your life.
I don't know why you love me, and thats why I love you...
Funny little line, but its so true. Those people that love you, when you're a commitment phobe you wonder why? When you know all the good as well as the bad, why do you stay? After I refuse to let you in, won't commit to you, put you in the friendship zone, and in some cases even encourage you to persue other relationships...but still you love me. I saw a quote on mySpace and it read, "Sometimes people build walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down." I think there's some truth to that because after a heartbreak, a wall goes up no matter how hard you try to avoid it, and you develop these defense mechanisms to keep you from getting hurt again. Ever player in the game has experiences a great heartbreak that lead them to that lifestyle. But you know, if you keep pushing and pushing, eventually they'll leave. Now what? Was it worth it? Was the threat of love worse than lonliness? Will meaningless relationships and frivilous sexual escapades fill the void left by the one you threw away?
I tell my mother, step-father, aunts & uncles, sisters, best friends, cousins and friends I love them all the time. I make it a point for the people in my life to know how much they mean to me...but when it comes down to this person, this guy who's been there pushing me to open up, patiently awaiting his turn I can't say the words. I would love to think that it'll come in time, that one day I'll grow out of it and one day I'll wake up and want to shout it from the rooftops...but I just don't know. For now I guess, fear and I will continue our tryst. Back and forth until one of us surrenders.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ciara said it best....
Damn ok, I never even liked the song 'Like a Boy' but it seems to be appropiate lately. So one of my guy friends reveals to me that HE believes if I were a guy, I'd be a hoe...Since then I've come to the conclusion that everyone is living with an inner hoe and females have to supress this 'IH' just a bit more than men do...is that fair? Maybe not but thats life.
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy.....
Lets get really real, if I were a guy HELL yeah I'd be a hoe. Knowing what I know now about females, I'd have no problem with it. Would I have standards, of course, would I be as picky as I am now? Probably should be but no. Thats the truth. Would I be disrespectful and treat women like hoes? Nah, but I'd treat hoes like hoes. I imagine its way more fun to "invade" than "be invaded", E (my guy friend) feels that I'd be a selfish lover and not take into account my partners needs. Thats fucked up, right? Is it true? Well I don't know about all that. I'd like to think that I still have a reputation to uphold and if I'ma do something I'ma excel at it lol...but who knows penis makes u stupid. But how much of the "boy me" is embedded in the "girl me" and WHO decided that sex was for boys??? We're the ones with the ONLY body part created solely for sexual gratification (fuck wit it) so I say we've got a 1up on men.
Wish we could switch up the roles...
As a woman, who is happy to BE a woman, I still wonder about these double standards. Something inside a womans superego is constantly checking her and moving her away from a hedonistic lifestyle of pleasure. Do men have this same thing? I mean of course they do but is that inner voice as loud? If you take away the social stigma of 'hoe' and you always keep safe sex in mind...would you be more of a hoe, Ladies? There's something to be said about a woman who fucks a la Samantha Jones style. With no apologies or excuses, hell its just sex and men do it...why must the woman be the one thinking of relationships and the future? Who says females can't just want sex?? Everyone has these thoughts, I'm convinced.
Aw naw, you wouldn't like that, NO!
I think a lot of times men don't take women seriously when they say they just want sex because 1.It can be viewed as emmasculating 2.Half the time women are LYING (yeah I said it) and 3.Its never just sex. Now just because I have acknowledged my IH doesn't mean that bitch gets any say in how I live my life... Its just the fact of the matter that she exsist in the first place, and why do men (socially speaking) get to indulge their IH while women have to suppress it? Women have perverted the ideal of sexual freedom and started using sex as a means to get what they want relationship wise. Its like damn, you fuckin it up for EVERYBODY! Can't you trap a dude the old fashioned way w/o pretending to be all new millenium? On the other hand, a man who can't handle a woman who knows what she wants is a piss poor excuse of a man in my opinion. Man up, literally, get your swag together and be grown about it. But its never just sex...thats 99.9% of the time, but I feel like in any continued sexual relationship somebody will catch feelings, or start acting possessive and things go south. Thats not always on the woman either, men have been acting more emotional these days (thats a whole 'nother blog)...
In conclusion, men are fabulous. Women are amazing and evolving everyday at a rate far faster than men, bet money, but just because those niggas are moving slow doesn't mean you can't move full speed ahead. Don't be ashamed of what you want, or expressing your desires. Own them, the mind does crazy things with suppressed emotions...that shit ALWAYS comes out. (Psych major info, anticipate my billing invoice)
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy.....
Lets get really real, if I were a guy HELL yeah I'd be a hoe. Knowing what I know now about females, I'd have no problem with it. Would I have standards, of course, would I be as picky as I am now? Probably should be but no. Thats the truth. Would I be disrespectful and treat women like hoes? Nah, but I'd treat hoes like hoes. I imagine its way more fun to "invade" than "be invaded", E (my guy friend) feels that I'd be a selfish lover and not take into account my partners needs. Thats fucked up, right? Is it true? Well I don't know about all that. I'd like to think that I still have a reputation to uphold and if I'ma do something I'ma excel at it lol...but who knows penis makes u stupid. But how much of the "boy me" is embedded in the "girl me" and WHO decided that sex was for boys??? We're the ones with the ONLY body part created solely for sexual gratification (fuck wit it) so I say we've got a 1up on men.
Wish we could switch up the roles...
As a woman, who is happy to BE a woman, I still wonder about these double standards. Something inside a womans superego is constantly checking her and moving her away from a hedonistic lifestyle of pleasure. Do men have this same thing? I mean of course they do but is that inner voice as loud? If you take away the social stigma of 'hoe' and you always keep safe sex in mind...would you be more of a hoe, Ladies? There's something to be said about a woman who fucks a la Samantha Jones style. With no apologies or excuses, hell its just sex and men do it...why must the woman be the one thinking of relationships and the future? Who says females can't just want sex?? Everyone has these thoughts, I'm convinced.
Aw naw, you wouldn't like that, NO!
I think a lot of times men don't take women seriously when they say they just want sex because 1.It can be viewed as emmasculating 2.Half the time women are LYING (yeah I said it) and 3.Its never just sex. Now just because I have acknowledged my IH doesn't mean that bitch gets any say in how I live my life... Its just the fact of the matter that she exsist in the first place, and why do men (socially speaking) get to indulge their IH while women have to suppress it? Women have perverted the ideal of sexual freedom and started using sex as a means to get what they want relationship wise. Its like damn, you fuckin it up for EVERYBODY! Can't you trap a dude the old fashioned way w/o pretending to be all new millenium? On the other hand, a man who can't handle a woman who knows what she wants is a piss poor excuse of a man in my opinion. Man up, literally, get your swag together and be grown about it. But its never just sex...thats 99.9% of the time, but I feel like in any continued sexual relationship somebody will catch feelings, or start acting possessive and things go south. Thats not always on the woman either, men have been acting more emotional these days (thats a whole 'nother blog)...
In conclusion, men are fabulous. Women are amazing and evolving everyday at a rate far faster than men, bet money, but just because those niggas are moving slow doesn't mean you can't move full speed ahead. Don't be ashamed of what you want, or expressing your desires. Own them, the mind does crazy things with suppressed emotions...that shit ALWAYS comes out. (Psych major info, anticipate my billing invoice)
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